Sunday, November 2, 2008

I Had A Dream...

I really did! And I somewhat remember it. It was about how I spent my time. Hmmm.....

I was given an assignment... sort of a school type thing. And we had to use some clay materials. I spent all my time on trying to design the clay stuff for a very unique cover and did absolutely nothing on the assignment. By the time the project is due, I'm still trying to finish up the clay part and have done absolutely nothing on the actual assignment.

So, while I'm no dream analyst, I did have some of this type of stuff in psychology classes. And even if I didn't, I don't think the implications could be more obvious. I'm not focusing on the important stuff when I use my time. Well, I'm working on stuff, just not the right stuff. I'm wanting to look at the details. I'm wanting to do the creative stuff. It's a matter of putting the rocks in the jar first and I'm just not doing that now. The assignment probably would have taken 15-20 minutes... so why spend 8 hours on "designing" the cover? Why spend my days on reviewing all of my lists to do instead of just "doing" what needs to be done? Not that lists aren't important... many days I would have completely forgotten important tasks if not for lists. But why so much focus lately??? Perhaps my way of feeling in control???

And let's face it, our kids do WAY too much. Not that it's a bad thing but with everything else going on, the time away from home was constant. So, we are taking a break for awhile... no basketball, no theater. We'll see where we are after the new year... and how the old folks are doing.

And it could be I just didn't have a productive week last week because I was recuperating from the past three months! It's amazing how different I feel after a hot date with the hubby. And what I didn't learn from the dream, was something discussed on our date... it's not a matter of time, it's not a matter of desire/motivation, IT IS A MATTER OF CHOICE. Let's be real... even in the dream... I had time to complete the assignment, I had the desire and motivation to complete the assignment, what I didn't do was make the best CHOICE.

To be continued.... again......

In love and recovery,

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